Getting out of bed this morning seems almost more than I can handle. I spend all my time thinking about you and now I even spend all night dreaming about you. It is so draining. But when I find myself not thinking about you I force myself to. I start looking at pictures of you or at your movie.
Everyone keeps reassuring me that I am a mom now. Like that is supposed to make me feel better. I don't really feel like a mom. I think of my friend who just had a baby. She is a mom. Moms are supposed to feed their children. Moms are supposed to be able to hold their children, change their diapers, talk with them, and help them grow up. I can't do any of that. All I can do is cry. I feel so empty. I feel like it's just me and your dad. If i'm a mom we are supposed to have a kid with us. Something is missing.
Missing you.
Love, your mom
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