Ellie,
Sometimes I just can't stop thinking about you. I didn't get to sleep until 4am last night. I just couldn't stop my mind from racing. I thought about you, I went over every detail of the pregnancy and the short time I had with you, and I planned for the future. We are so ready to be parents. We have been spending quite a bit of time with some friends of ours. They have a beautiful family. I love helping them with their little girls and watching your dad play with them. We are even babysitting their baby tomorrow. It's hard sometimes though to leave and come home to our empty apartment and our slow, not chaotic lives. We still have over 4 months to wait before we can start trying for another kid. Sometimes, and I know this is horrible to say and maybe a little inappropriate to talk to my daughter about, but sometimes I wish for a mistake. I know logically it would be bad medically for me and the baby to get pregnant again so soon after a Cesarean but it seems so long to wait. It won't happen anyway, it would require divine intervention. I'm just impatient. I just feel like i'm in a rut that I can't get out of. I just wish you were here. I love you baby girl.
Mom