I'm sorry I didn't write to you yesterday. It doesn't mean i'm not thinking about you. I think about you all the time. I've been spending time with my family. I think a lot about how things would be different if you were here with us. I thought about you a lot today when we were at the zoo. Every little girl reminded me of you. The elephants reminded me of you. The tiles at the zoo bought in remembrance of dead loved ones reminded me of you. Every movie I watch has something in it that reminds me of you. Today we watched a movie and at the end the main character talked about how the dead people he could see weren't stuck here because they hadn't let go, they were stuck here because we can't let them go. I know that's not how it really works but I thought about you being stuck here because i'm not ready to let you go yet.
I've had a really rough week. My depression just keeps hanging on. I keep hoping it's just PMS and i'll get over it but it doesn't go away. I set up an appointment to go see a therapist. I'm a little nervous. I've never done anything like this before. I hope it helps. We'll see.
I love you my little Ellie-phant.
good luck with therapy! i'm of the opinion that, as long as you have a good therapist, everyone can benefit from counseling, even without having gone through something traumatic. but especially with what you're dealing with it will be good. hope you have an awesome counselor!
ReplyDeleteI'd consider bringing up these letters you've been writing, possibly share them with the therapist. They seem so honest...they might help share what would otherwise be difficult to verbally say. Good luck!
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