Back to work

Ellie,
This past week has been pretty good over all. I think going back to work has been good for me. It's been a lot harder on your dad though. He's not used to being alone for so long. My new class is huge. The first week is always crazy. There is always so much to do. My to do list is never cleared off. I told my class about you. They felt really bad. A previous student sent a really nice note today. It is nice to know that my students love me so much and care about me.
Today was kind of a difficult day for some reason. I might just be tired. A co-worker asked me about you. She either didn't know or had forgotten what happened. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to explain it to her. Another co-worker brought us a little pin that is baby feet. I gave it to your dad. He needs something that he can carry around with him to remember you by. I have my jewelry I wear but he needs something too. I think he'll pin it on his suits. I also still have a hard time every time I say your name, which is difficult because I have a student with your name. It will probably be good for me though. I need to be able to say your name without the pain shooting through my heart, so maybe it's a blessing that she is in my class. At least she's a really good kid. That helps.
I'm sure i'll have my good days and bad days still. It helps that people are still looking out for me. The pain is just a little stronger today. I do have days where I think about how I don't feel like I need to cry. Today is just not one of those days. It's okay though because I know now that it won't last forever. I know I will feel good again, even at least for a little while.
I love you so much baby girl. I miss you.
Mom