This blog is dedicated to my little girl Ellie Marie. She was stillborn at 37 weeks and 3 days of pregnancy. I am hoping that this blog will help me and others who have to go through this grieving and healing process.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Grandma part 2

Ellie,
Grandma is back in the hospital today. Grandpa called and said they were rushing her into surgery because she was cramping really bad and bleeding excessively. It was all happening so fast. He asked me to call the rest of the family and let them know. For some reason, and I don't know why, I didn't freak out as much this time. It seems backwards to me. I should have been more panicked this time around. Maybe I just didn't have as much time to work myself up about it, or maybe because I was charged with the job of calling the family. I knew I had to be strong. Also, I think something my counselor said at our last meeting helped. I was talking about what a basket case I was when mom was having her surgery and how anxious I was about getting pregnant again. She told me that being anxious does nothing helpful. I think if I can keep that in mind and remember to breathe I will be fine.
Grandma is out of surgery and is doing well. Nothing was really wrong with her.  They didn't see any active bleeding they just cleaned out a bunch of blood that was in there. She will be in the hospital over night but her recovery should be quicker. Once again I charged you with the duty of looking after her. Now I ask you to please be with your father. He is going through a really down time and needs your comfort and guidance.
I love you so much my little angel.
Mom

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