Marriage

Ellie,
I had a conversation today about how some couples have a hard time with their relationship after the loss of a child. This person mentioned that it is hard for newly married couples because they are still getting used to each other and still getting used to being married then they have to deal with the loss too. I thought that maybe that's one reason your dad and I haven't had too bad of a time. We've been married for eight years. We're not really considered newlyweds anymore. We've had a good long time to get to know each other. We are able to hand this better because of that.
Other couples have mentioned though that for the first few months after the loss they got really close then things started to fall apart and get worse. Some even considered divorce. I don't want that to happen to us. I remember being worried while I was pregnant that having a baby would change our relationship. Now it has changed our relationship but in a way that I could never have imagined.
I think in order to keep things going well for us it will always be something we have to work on. We both have to realize that we grieve differently. We have to have a balance of being understanding when the other one is going through a difficult time but also not being selfish by being grumpy all the time. It's difficult to battle the pain inside of ourselves while also trying to help the other person through their pain too. But, we love each other so I know that we will continue to work on it.
This week is going by so slow. I was hoping time would fly by once I got back to work. Maybe it's just because it's still the first week. Hopefully after this week it will seem to go faster. My problem is that I still have things to look forward to. If I was dreading the future then time would fly by.
I'm going to bed so I can start another day.
I love you,
Mom