Grandma

Ellie,
My mom is having surgery today and I am a basket case. I am so nervous. I don't know why I came to work. I'm freaking out. I wish I could be there with her. I didn't think I should take the time off of work but now I wish I had. I should be there. She was here for me when I was in the hospital and after I came home. This weekend is a long weekend and I was planning on going up then for the whole weekend to be with her but now I don't even know if that is going to work out. Grrr i'm so frustrated.
I don't know what I would do if something went wrong. I can't bear to lose your grandma too. It would be too much for me. The procedure is supposed to be routine and done all the time but so was the checkup we went to when we found out you were dead. I don't know if I will ever be the same. If this is a test of what I can expect to be like during my next pregnancy I don't know if I can handle it. I'm too crazy. All I can do is pray right now and leave it in Heavenly Father's hands.
I love you my little angel. Please watch over my mom today and protect her. Comfort her and your grandpa.
Love,
mom

By the way this is the 100th post!