Well, I went to see a counselor this morning. I'm still not sure how much it helped. She didn't tell me anything I hadn't heard before and I was really crabby afterwards. But, I will keep going as long as she thinks I need to. She said i'm probably anxious about going back to work. I am a little worried about that. It will be good to keep me busy but I don't want to just ignore the problem and i'm a little worried that a little stress might just put me over the edge. She did give me some ideas on what to do when I feel anxious and stressed. I told her I tend to stress out about things, especially when things aren't in perfect order. She asked what helped me feel better when I am feeling depressed. Chocolate ice cream is the easy answer : )
She also wants me to call the doctor on Monday and get some medication. I'm not sure how I feel about that either. It's a little embarrassing that I need medication. But, maybe it is a biochemical problem. Maybe it is a little postpartum depression. And, I guess it shouldn't be embarrassing. Lots of people are medicated. She also told me I need to not worry so much about what other people think. She said generally people will want me to be done grieving before I am ready. Everybody grieves differently and I just need to take it as it comes.
I think it will help. She was really nice, I really liked her. She also brought your dad in at the end to tell him what we talked about and how he could help me. I love him. He is so wonderful. I keep waiting for him to get tired of me but he doesn't. He loves me.
I love you Ellie. I am so grateful to be your mother and I look forward to the day we can be together again.
Love, Mom
I think it will help. She was really nice, I really liked her. She also brought your dad in at the end to tell him what we talked about and how he could help me. I love him. He is so wonderful. I keep waiting for him to get tired of me but he doesn't. He loves me.
I love you Ellie. I am so grateful to be your mother and I look forward to the day we can be together again.
Love, Mom
St Johns Wort is a great natural herbal remedy for that... I've been diagnosed with Depression (had that diagnosis for over 15 years now - mine is caused by a missing chemical in the brain) and I've been on Prozac (wasnt a fan), St John's Wort (big fan of this one) and now Paxil (like it so far). I would suggest to do some research and do what you think is best for you. There is nothing wrong with (legally :) ) supplementing yourself to get you through this funk. It will take time and patience but it'll get you through. If you have any questions you can always ask me...not one judgement here! I promise!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you know about taking St Johns Wort, Paxil, or Prozac while pregnant? We would like to start trying for another baby in a few months and I was just wondering how those would affect the pregnancy. I'm sure my doctor will tell me too but any insight you have would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for the help.
ReplyDeleteI know that they are NOT recommended, because they can cause problems like some birth defects. I'm not sure of all the details and classifications. I know that there are meds that are classified by levels a, b, c, and d. A's are safe to take during pregnancy, B's are possibly safe, so on and so forth. A pharmacist at any pharmacy can explain it better if you don't or can't talk to your doc.
ReplyDeleteI have had time to figure out what my triggers are and how to handle the hormone and chemical surges in my brain. It may be that you just need the supplement of anti-depressant for a little while to get you through. Not every one who takes an antidepressant needs it because of a genetic imbalance (like me). Taking those meds doesn't mean you have to take them forever.
Like I said earlier it may just help you get through this funky rut.
You're doing well though from the sounds of it. You're at least getting up and getting around in some fashion or another. You're not staying in bed and sleeping all day (even though I'm sure there are days that's what would be preferred) and since I'm no doctor :) my unofficial diagnosis is that you do have a mild to moderate case of depression but you will recover! it can go away.