Ellie baby, I feel so much pain today. I had no idea I could actually feel physical pain. It sucks so bad. I want it to go away. I feel like it's going to be like this forever. Will this ever go away? I don't want to feel like this forever.
Your father is amazing. He really helped me get through a really tough time today. I had a minor panic attack and he held me as I freaked out and cried in hysterics. He prayed for me and gave me many words of comfort. He's been through pain before, not this bad but, he does know how to cope with depression and debilitating pain.
I was freaking out about starting to eat healthy again and counting carbs again. For some reason it was really stressing me out. I finally figured out that it was reminding me too much of when I was pregnant with you. It was a sacrifice but it was so worth it because it was for you.
I do want to get healthy and lose weight so I can be healthy for the next kid. Your dad says I need to take it one step at a time and try not to move fast. Once I accepted that I was able to relax and the pain went away.
Your dad is very goofy and he helped me relax by singing some goofy songs for me and suggesting I watch something silly. So, i'm watching the Office and trying to relax. I also started doing some laundry. It's good for me to have a project to do. We went to see the doctor this morning and he said I was doing good but I really need to relax. Which is hard for me because I need to be doing things to take my mind off of things. I think laundry will be good for me because it's not too hard and it will take a while because we have a lot. And your papa will help me with any hard parts.
I'm getting through this slowly but surely. I'm sure things like that will set me off again. It was really good for me to ball and cry and get it all out. I'm sure I will have tough times ahead still but hopefully I will learn some more coping mechanisms and things will get better.
love mom
Your father is amazing. He really helped me get through a really tough time today. I had a minor panic attack and he held me as I freaked out and cried in hysterics. He prayed for me and gave me many words of comfort. He's been through pain before, not this bad but, he does know how to cope with depression and debilitating pain.
I was freaking out about starting to eat healthy again and counting carbs again. For some reason it was really stressing me out. I finally figured out that it was reminding me too much of when I was pregnant with you. It was a sacrifice but it was so worth it because it was for you.
I do want to get healthy and lose weight so I can be healthy for the next kid. Your dad says I need to take it one step at a time and try not to move fast. Once I accepted that I was able to relax and the pain went away.
Your dad is very goofy and he helped me relax by singing some goofy songs for me and suggesting I watch something silly. So, i'm watching the Office and trying to relax. I also started doing some laundry. It's good for me to have a project to do. We went to see the doctor this morning and he said I was doing good but I really need to relax. Which is hard for me because I need to be doing things to take my mind off of things. I think laundry will be good for me because it's not too hard and it will take a while because we have a lot. And your papa will help me with any hard parts.
I'm getting through this slowly but surely. I'm sure things like that will set me off again. It was really good for me to ball and cry and get it all out. I'm sure I will have tough times ahead still but hopefully I will learn some more coping mechanisms and things will get better.
love mom
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