The Crown Without the Conflict

Ellie,
I think things are slowly beginning to get better. Last Tuesday night was rough because of the SHARE meeting. General Conference was a little rough this weekend too. I was hoping to find answers to all of my questions and feel total comfort after all of it. Some talks were really comforting. I love Elder Uchtdorf. His talks always touch me and I feel like he is speaking directly to me. The talk on how to raise your daughters in the gospel was a little difficult. I just don't know how much I can do from here for you. I guess I feel a little helpless.
Your dad had a really rough day in church a couple of Sundays ago. He's been having a rough time anyway. He got frustrated about something a kinda lost it and just walked out in priesthood. He just holds things in so much until he just snaps and explodes. I guess that's a typical guy way to deal with it. He is just like his dad in that way. He also feels like the women of our ward have been amazing but the men haven't done enough to support him. I think he's expecting too much of them. He can't expect them all to be like him. He is extra sensitive and comforting and most men just aren't that way. Especially in our church that's more seen as the women's job. I had hoped he'd get over it but Saturday night he went on another tirade about it.
Your aunt Mary called today. She wants to give us the rest of the money we need to buy your headstone. I am so excited about that. She has been really amazing through all of this. I can tell she really feels for us and you. She really wishes she could have been here and had the chance to see you. I hope she will someday. I have no idea what i'm doing in the shopping for a headstone department. I've never had to do this before. We do already know a special phrase we are going to put on it. We read it in a book and knew it was perfect. "The Crown Without the Conflict".
You are my perfect angel. I have been greatly desiring confirmation that you will be resurrected as my child. Your father says he has received that confirmation but it wasn't enough for me. I needed to know on my own. I think I know now, in my heart, that you are truly my daughter and will always be my daughter. I feel that special bond with you again. I think I was blocking it for a while to save me from the pain of the loss, but I feel you close around me again.
I love you so much. Thanks for watching over us.
Love,
Mom