Thanksgiving

Ellie,

Thanksgiving was such a great time. It was so wonderful to be with family and eat lots of good food. I wasn't prego this year so I didn't throw up my pecan pie:) We actually ended up having 3 thanksgiving dinners. One, at grandma and grandpa's, on with our friends on Saturday, and one with just us on Sunday so we could have leftovers. 

I was really excited to see all of my family for the long weekend but I was having a bit of a hard time when we were on our way to leave. I kept feeling like I was forgetting something. I was thinking about how I should have been packing a bunch of baby stuff. We had been on the road for about 10 minutes when I looked back in the rearview mirror wishing I could see a baby car seat in the back and wishing you were with us. I saw the snowflake in our rear windshield that we got at the SHARE walk last month. I suddenly got the distinct impression that you were there with us. It was like you were saying to me "I am here". There were a couple of other moments like that where I felt you especially near. It was very special.

You know it's stupid because if somebody had told me 6 months ago that they felt the presence of their dead child I would have scoffed. I am not really a believer in that kind of thing. I thought people felt that only because they wanted to and it wasn't really real. It's amazing how I have become a believer. I can definitely tell the difference between feeling you close just because i'm thinking about you and those sudden inexplicable moments when I feel you near. 

I love you very much. I am glad that you have been able to spend some of the special family time with us this Thanksgiving. I hope we get to have you near for Christmas. 

Love, 

Mom